Take that you corporate loyalty douchebags!

If anyone has not seen last Sunday's episode of the Simpsons (entitled Mypods and Boomsticks) I strongly urge you to do so. Not only is it the best episode I've seen this season (which isn't saying much, but trust me, it's very good) but it also manages to eloquently describe just some of the many problems with the "Apple Person" culture. Oh, also, Moe starting a cult to get out of jury duty: priceless.

Yes We Did.

I'm not really sure how to express my feelings right now, but HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! I haven't felt like this about politics ever. Ever. Ok, I'm going to try and sleep but I'm reasonably sure I'll just end up lying in bed thinking about how fucking awesome this is.

New Post!!!

I really don't have anything groundbreaking to say, other than I'm not dead and even though the end of baseball season always leaves me a little down (at least every baseball season since '91) I'm still alive and do eventually plan on writing something else here.

1st Place

I don't know how else to explain my feelings about tonight. I just got home from celebrating the victory and I still feel wide awake. I can't wait to watch us clinch the division and hear Ozzie Guillen come up with even more stupid reasons why his team fails. Seriously, tonight was amazing. I would go so far as to say this was the most exciting Twins game I have been to since Game 7 in '87. Absolutely amazing, electrifying energy in the dome, the whole place felt like a 50,000 person party. After the game everyone was singing and chanting in the streets. Random people passed us on the sidewalk and everyone would start cheering and yelling. I love being a part of a city filled with that kind of joy.

The best description of the night: on Baseball Tonight the #1 Webgem tonight wasn't given to a player, it was The Minnesota Twins. Baseball is a team sport and nowhere is that more true than here. I love this game.

Twins 3 White Sox 2

All I can say is that after going to this game I plan on trying to go to every game from here til the end of the year, regardless of the results. I love this team, I love the way the stadium feels when 40,000 people are screaming in unison. I love the way I get nervous about every single pitch and the way that the 9th inning seems like the most important thing ever. I love the way it feels to beat a hated rival, and I love to hate Ozzie Guillen.

If anyone will be there tomorrow I'll be there with you. Go Twins!!!

What happened to the 1st Amendment?

Warning: Political Rant

In the past month I've seen example after example of how our 1st Amendment rights only apply in certain situations. Censored language, blocked protests, and punishment for speaking one's mind seem to pop up on the news on a daily basis.

First off, the protests. The 1st clearly states that we have a right to freedom of assembly. Why is it that the government is allowed to enforce a restriction on this right by requiring permits for most protests? If I have a right to assemble with others who share my point of view how is it that a city or state can interfere and it is somehow legal?

Secondly, censorship. I understand that the general public does not want there to be rampant foul language, nudity, and violence (well, I guess violence isn't really censored) in the mainstream media, but does the government really have a right to penalize someone for using a word or showing some T&A? Somewhere along the line we let religious ideals amend the amendment to include exceptions.

Finally, persecution. There have been several stories in the past couple years about students being suspended, expelled, and in some cases prosecuted for comments they have made in various online media. I'm not talking about the ones who made threats on the lives of others, obviously when someone threatens to harm others there is sufficient reason to act to prevent violence. But when a student is punished for making a website critical of school administration during her own time, not on school grounds, there is something wrong. Expressing an opinion (even if it is something as juvenile as calling your principal a dickhead) certainly should not fall within the jurisdiction of the school. If the student said these things in class it would be different. When a teacher makes a rule against chewing gum, they certainly don't expect students to refrain from chewing gum at home. A student may have to act a certain way while in the school lunchroom, but the school does not make the rules for the family's dinner table.

As far as I can tell the only way to change these problematic attitudes towards our freedoms is to continue to challenge them. Pushing the envelope when it comes to the FCC, protesting whether or not the city council says it is ok, blogging about your teacher being a douche bag, these are all ways to keep people thinking about this issue. I'm not really sure where I plan on starting, but I know that I do not plan on censoring myself when it comes to something so basic as the freedom of speech.

Chronophage

I recently discovered THIS on slashdot. I'm too lazy to post all of the information as links here, but I encourage everyone who read this to look up more information regarding the clock and read up on it. I want one. Badly. If anyone has some extra thousands of dollars and wants to buy me one, I'd be delighted.

And yes, the demon grasshopper is continuing to eat time away. Once a second has passed it is gone forever.

Go Gus Go!

Those of you who've spent any amount of time with me in the last couple weeks have probably heard me rant about firing Childress and benching Tarvaris. Well, today I got half of my wish. Hopefully having Frerotte start at QB for us will at least give our offense some semblance of multidimensionality (yes, that is a word even though Firefox didn't think so.)

Since Childress actually appears to be trying something new, I'd like to back off on some of the criticism I've thrown his way recently. Yes, he is still a horrible play caller and I'm still ready to hate on him at the drop of a hat. But for now, I figure he's at least earned himself another week before I start calling for his head again.

As for the Twins, I'm currently watching us fall behind the Indians, again, and I have nothing to say. My sadness is too overwhelming to comment on the situation.

Rage Against the Machine

Best. Concert. Ever.

I know that sounds like hyperbole, but honestly I have never enjoyed a show as much as I enjoyed last night's Rage concert. Anti-Flag was the opener, getting the crowd all stirred up with lines like "Across the river there is a convention of mother-fuckers who got us into this illegal war. Let's show them that on this side of the river there's a convention of mother-fuckers who won't stand for this shit anymore!"

Just before Rage went on about 100-200 people started jumping over the railings from the bleachers onto the floor, running past security guards and in a couple cases knocking them down. I only saw 2 people actually get caught by security as they were far outnumbered.

Once the band took the stage the entire place was louder than the Metrodome during a sold out Vikings game. They played several songs before Zach finally spoke up in the middle of "Bulls on Parade" saying "Did you guys know that Sarah Palin has a pregnant 17 year old daughter?" In the bass interlude during "Wake Up" he gave about a 10 minute speech denouncing the illegal war, asking for people to get involved, and telling everyone in the crowd that it was time for us to wake up and do something about it.

After ending the encore with "Killing in the Name Of" Zach had one last piece of wisdom for the evening. He told the crowd that the riot police outside were just waiting for a reason to get physical and make some arrests and that we shouldn't give them any reason to get violent. "Let's show them that we have more discipline than they do."

The GOP Convention vs. 1st Amendment Rights

In the last 2 days there have been over 300 arrests in the Twins Cities related to the GOP convention. Now, I'm not defending the idiots who broke the windows at Macy's or the jerks deflating peoples tires. That is immature bullshit and it makes us all look bad. What I'm pissed about are the hundreds of people who have been arrested or otherwise detained without having committed a crime. I've even heard about a news team that was arrested and when they pointed to their convention badges the police took the credentials and told them they were operating without a permit. A documentary crew had its cameras seized before they had a chance to even start filming. A billboard was blocked from being put up because our GOP Lt. Gov. thought it "could possibly pose a serious safety risk to commuters on I-94."

Honestly, I'm a little surprised. I know people always complain about the cops being dicks and doing stupid shit like this but I've never seen it happen so close to home on such a grand scale. I guess what it boils down to is that the 1st amendment only applies when it doesn't interfere with someone's political agenda. As the quote goes: "You can have the Model-T in any color, so long as its black."

Everyday?

Honestly, I'm excited about having Guardado back. Sure, he was never the lights-out guy that Nathan is, but we don't need that from him, all we need is a solid 8th inning now, something that I think Eddie should be able to do for us on a regular basis.

Almost more importantly, this move is a sign that we won't just sit here and do nothing when our bullpen is performing inconsistently.

Far too true

Perfect explanation.

Political Test Results

You are a Social Liberal (83% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (16% permissive) You are best described as a: Socialist Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also : The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Apparently I'm a Socialist. Power to the people!

Apparently it isn't just a joke

Found THIS article on Slashdot, turns out Colbert's Bump is real (for Dems at least.) Maybe this news will actually make Republicans realize that he's mocking them.

Freakin' shutout the freakin' Yankees!

First, Garrison, sorry I didn't post sooner, I was at the game and busy yelling "WTF?!?!?" when Everett hit that homer. As for Perkins, apparently having your first child is an inspiring moment, inspiring enough to shutout the Yankees for 8 innings. 4 hits. FOUR!

I know I keep saying this, but the Twins have a way of coming up with a different hero every game. I love the fact that our team is just that, a TEAM. Everyone contributes and when that happens we are unstoppable.

Rain of Hats

As much as I hope the Rain of Hats that fell on the Metrodome floor during the bottom of the 7th tonight doesn't become a tradition (I hope it doesn't happen again for that matter) I do believe that the sheer energy of the fans getting behind Gardy during his very justified tirade helped to spur us on to victory. The White Sox fleeing the field and the proceeding to hide, obviously terrified of the prospect of being hit by the most deadly weapon known to man, the baseball cap, made the entire building erupt with the type of vengeful energy that can electrify even the slumpiest of hitters. Every time Ozzie Guillen stepped onto the field to change pitchers from that point forth we got stronger, the crowd booed louder, and the players scored more.

As an addendum, I am totally ok with Griffey going to play for the Sox so long as Swisher plays 1B for the rest of the year cause that guy SUCKS.

Divorce

Who knew it was so easy? All you do is show up with the papers and someone you've never met before watches you sign, stamps it, and just like that you're single again. I think divorce should be handled the same way as marriage. Your whole family, friends, and everyone who was at the wedding should have to show up and you should state your case for divorce in front of everyone, explain to each and every one of the people who stood up for your vows why exactly you feel like they (the vows) don't count anymore.

Yes, I'm bitter and angry. Fortunately I planned ahead and made sure the house is free of all booze and drugs, so all I have to drown my sorrows in is video games and baseball. If the White Sox win tonight someone may have to drive me home from the bar.

Twins vs. White Sox

2 in a row!!! I know this may sound premature, but there is something about this team. Every time things look glum, someone steps up. Every time it looks like a player is on their way out, they go on a hot streak. And when you look in the dugout, it isn't all seriousness and determination, most of the people are smiling. This team is the most exciting Twins team I've seen since '91. Maybe not the best, that is yet to be decided, but certainly the most fun to watch. Going to the game on Thursday, my 13th of the year (14th if you count that game at Safeco.) Hopefully it will be our 61st win of the season.

P.S. Still 1 free ticket available for the game if anyone sees this.

Seattle and Warcraft

Last Thursday we flew into Seattle and then drove to the coast to a small town called Oceanshores for my cousins wedding. I hung out with the wedding party, had some crazy shenanigans involving a race on the beach while using Mentos as ammunition. The wedding and the reception went very well. The next morning I got to spend some time hanging out with my cousin and his new wife. We drove back to Seattle together. On Monday I met up with several people I've known in Warcraft for 3 years, finally get to put faces to names and all that jazz. We drove out to Gig Harbor where more WoW people were hanging out, had a rockin' bbq, ate some food, drank some drink. Today is the last full day out here. We're going to a Mariner's game in about an hour, should be nice to see Safeco Field, which has some of the same designers as our new stadium. 

For those of you who play/ed WoW with me the people I met were:

From Portland: Taurment, Kidlat, Muabdib

From WA: Occulto, Skullbomb, Grampybone, Necrobutcher, Kreytor

Also, I saw Dark Knight last night, and it rocks. Hard. 

The Belgians are Coming!!!

Budweiser sold to Belgians! Suddenly Stella Artois and Beck's no longer taste as good as they used to.

Favre

First off, I told you so. I knew that stupid sonovabitch wouldn't stay retired. I'm beginning to think the term "retired" doesn't even fit at all, considering he didn't miss a single game. Instead he pulls a Junior Seau and "retires" so he can go play somewhere else.

Secondly, I do not want him to play for the Vikings. As much as I hate the Packers, it would feel dirty and wrong to have Brett Favre wearing purple.

Lastly, as much as I don't want him to suffer any permanent damage, I do want to see him get the piss beat out of him at least a couple times this season.

Movies

Is it just me, or would the upcoming movie "Space Chimps" be more intriguing if it was actually titled "Apestronauts"?

The All-Star Game

I was just checking out the All-Star rosters for this year and I believe I have a very compelling argument for scrapping the fan vote in favor of a more MVP style selection process.

6 of the 9 starters (ipso facto vote leaders) are from either the Yankees or Boston. Neither of these teams is in first place. The most glaring problems in the lineup are Youkilis, Pedroia, and Jeter. Strictly based on statistics all 3 of these players score below their player/manager selected counterparts. Morneau has a better average and more RBIs than Youkilis. Kinsler leads Pedroia in all 3 major offensive categories, and the same can be said of Young and Jeter.

This game is supposed to be a showcase of the best players. We mention how many all-star games a player has been to as a measure of their skill. When certain teams receive votes simply because they have large media markets it devalues the game.

The leagues themselves should be upset about the improper importance of popularity. As a Twins fan, I want the AL to win so that when we get to the Series we have homefield advantage. I want the best possible players out there, not a bunch of Red Sox just because they have a huge bandwagon.

Cy Young Shmy Young

In the last 5 days the Twins have faced and beaten 4 Cy Young winners. Pwnage.

RIP George Carlin

He fucking died. Fuck.

My life right now

I don't think I've ever seen a comic describe the way I feel better than THIS right here. Now if only I could meet a girl who quotes Firefly...

Been Awhile

Ok, it's been several months since a last posted anything here. To make a long story short, I've moved into my own apartment, I'm getting divorced, and my living room furniture consists of 2 lawn chairs and a card table. More blogging to come later, for now I'll just leave it at "shit's gone crazy."

Obama

I caught the tail end of the State of the Union address last night (I would've watched more but I get seriously angry if I have to listen to Bush speak for more than 30 seconds at a time.) Afterwards Kathleen Sebelius gave a pretty good speech about coming together and all that jazz, then I got THIS in my email this morning. I haven't felt this motivated about politics in a long time. Vote Obama!

This Just In

Apparently my blog is "hard gay." So says one of my co-workers. I totally bet he reads this, and probably sees this as well. Booyah.

Klosterman and ESPN

I was browsing around Ye Olde Intrenet and found THIS article, a strange coming together of my sports obsession and my wife's love of music. Maybe I'll be able to make her read an article about football?

Magnetic Fields

I know I'm way late on loving these guys, but in the past few weeks they've turned into one of my favorite bands. My current favorite is "I Don't Believe You":

So you quote love unquote me
Well, stranger things have come to be
But let's agree to disagree
Cause I don't believe you
I don't believe you

You tell me I'm not not cute
Its truth or falsity is moot
Cause honesty's not your strong suit
And I don't believe you
I don't believe you

You tell me of what once was
And all about Buck, Butch, and Buzz
How they were not like me because...
But I don't believe you
I don't believe you

I had a dream and you were in it
The blue of your eyes was infinite
You seemed to be
In love with me
Which isn't very realistic

You may sing me "They Were You"
And I start crying halfway through
But nothing else you say is true
So I don't believe you
I don't believe you

You may set your charm on stun
And say I'm delightful and fun
But you say that to everyone
Well, I don't believe you
I don't believe you

So you're brilliant gorgeous and
ampersand after ampersand
You think I just don't understand
But I don't believe you
I don't believe you
I don't believe you
I don't believe you

xkcd + Redwall

I haven't read these books in years, but the guys at xkcd prove their excellence once again.

Tests

I was having a conversation with my co-workers about fighting a horde of small children and we stumbled across this test, along with a link to the Zombie Apocalypse Test.

In case you were wondering, I can take 28 5 year-olds at a time and I have a 58% chance of surviving the zombie apocalypse.

Foiling the Fundamentalists

I stumbled across THIS website today. Sure some parts of it are argumentative and obnoxious, but it is nice to read page after page of why fundamentalist Christianity is so freaking insane.

The State of Gaming

Over the past 4 years or so I've played a large selection of games, everything from FPS to RPG and the dreaded MMO. Some of the games have been worthwhile, others not so much. The only games that have managed to hold my attention for more than a couple weeks have been World of Warcraft and the Half-life 2 games and their associated mods.

Of course I've had a few moments of turning back to classics like StarCraft and Civ4, but most of my 30-40 hours a week of gaming is spent either farming on my druid or beating HL2 for the 13th time (6 times for ep.1 and 3 for ep.2.) This is an arguably repetitive gaming life, switching back and forth between an MMO and a single-player FPS.

My main question is, when will something new come out that can actually grab my attention? I know people have been raving about CoD4 and Bioshock and a few other games, but I want a new FPS, something actually different.